The Breastfed Child That Will not Take a Bottle

From time to time I get an e-mail or a telephone name from a mother whose breastfed child will not take a bottle. Maybe she goes again to work in a couple of brief days or maybe she simply needs a couple of hours to herself to go someplace or do something that does not contain having her child, whom she loves dearly, hanging off her boob. A child who will not take a bottle is a scary factor. Immediately you’re looking down the barrel of months of feeling “trapped.” You’re plagued with the query:What if my child by no means takes a bottle?Every time I’m introduced with this query, I instantly spiral into PTSD. My child by no means took a bottle. I am unable to bear in mind the precise particulars as a result of, properly, I used to be a loopy, exhausted, emotional, overwhelmed new mom myself.What I do bear in mind is shopping for each bottle obtainable in the marketplace that claimed to be “just like the breast,” together with a bottle that was actually formed like a breast. It leaked throughout me. I am unable to bear in mind after I began providing, however I do know that after I went again to work when Lucy was 12-16 weeks (I am unable to bear in mind when, okay?!), she wasn’t taking a bottle. I bear in mind my husband calling me in a panic and driving her 30 minutes to the hospital in Philly the place I labored so I might come down and nurse her.I bear in mind my mom thickening my breastmilk with cereal (sure, cereal, folks) and making an attempt to feed her my thickened milk with a spoon.I bear in mind providing her a no-spill sippy cup stuffed with my breastmilk, however I eliminated the half that made it no spill. Then I helped her tip it again so she might pour it throughout herself.Do you need to know what occurred ultimately? I stop my job. On the time, it felt like all the things in my physique was telling me that my child simply wished me to remain at dwelling together with her, so I did. Looking back, it was not a sensible choice. I do not remorse it, as a result of I do not remorse something in my life, however I do suppose that this was the tipping level of a sequence of occasions that finally led to the demise of my marriage.And, now that I do know Lucy at age eight, I do know she completely was telling me to stop my job and I completely succumbed to her will. I continued to try this for the primary three years of her life till at one level, within the warmth of a throw-down with my terror of a 3 yr previous, I actually stated to her, “YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!” Now, more often than not, I can’t be bullied by her. She is rather like her mom, thoughts you. She could have her means if there may be no one to face as much as her (she does it to her father a number of instances a day). So, I’m not shocked that she bullied me when she was just a few months previous.Evidently, I’m a breastfeeding professional… not a bottle-feeding professional.However, I’ve observed one thing all through the years of working with different panicky mothers of non-bottle-accepting breastfed infants. There are two main elements to bottle refusal:
Reverse Nipple Confusion (child would not perceive the right way to suck on a synthetic nipple)

Stubbornness (Child is aware of rattling properly the right way to suck on a bottle and will not as a result of she is sensible sufficient to know {that a} bottle means mama will not be round)
My daughter suffered from a lethal mixture of the 2.Part One: Keep away from reverse nipple confusion altogether by beginning early

Round 4 to 6 weeks, observe bottle-feeding-even if you’re scared and even if you happen to do not need to, do it. You do not have to exchange a breastfeeding session completely to observe this. You possibly can simply supply about one ounce, then end up with breastfeeding. The concept right here is to verify your child understands the right way to do it.This can be a actually vital window to show a child to the right way to suck on one thing aside from a boob. If you happen to miss this window, issues are going to be so much more durable.I even have this idea that infants that take a pacifier have a better time taking a bottle. Now, I occur to be one of many solely Lactation Consultants on the planet who appears to suppose that pacifiers are fantastic to make use of so long as you are not utilizing them within the first two weeks to keep away from breastfeeding when the child is clearly hungry. So, if you wish to be protected, wait two to 4 weeks after delivery to keep away from the pacifier. A breastfed child who sucks a pacifier can swap from breast sucking to synthetic nipple sucking, an vital talent that she should have if she goes to grasp the right way to take a bottle.It would not matter who provides the bottle at this stage. A one- or two-month-old merely is not sensible sufficient to know the distinction. A child three months previous or older, nevertheless, is. That’s when she could solely settle for the bottle from mother ornever settle for the bottle from mother or solely settle for the bottle when mother is out of the home or after not consuming for four hours or solely when she is simply waking up. Perceive? As soon as they hit round three months previous, they turn out to be finicky. So, begin early.Now, after getting decided that your child can and can take a bottle, do not make the foolish mistake of pondering now you can cease training. Simply since you child has taken a bottle previously, doesn’t imply that your child will proceed to take the bottle sooner or later. Infants are like goldfish: very brief recollections.Section 2: Provide constantly & persistently

If you realize your child can take a bottle, nice! Now you’ll want to supply the bottle a couple of instances per week to verify she would not neglect the talent. If in case you have a child who loves her pacifier, then you possibly can in all probability get away with doing this one time per week. If in case you have a child who is not a robust pacifier sucker, do that 3 times per week.Once more, you wouldn’t have to exchange a whole breastfeeding with a bottle if you happen to do not need to; you possibly can simply supply about one ounce in a bottle, then end with the breast.However, I do problem you to take this bottle-feeding time as a possibility for self-care. Do one thing for your self! Go to the gymnasium, buy groceries, get your hair carried out, sit within the automotive by your self in silence. Take a nap. Give daddy some house and time to get to know your youngster in a brand new means.If you happen to child doesn’t take a bottle, supply instead of breastfeeding constantly and persistently. Which means virtually on a regular basis. Which means, permit child to get hungry sufficient to want the bottle. Which means, do not give in as quickly as issues get powerful. You’re up towards both a confused child or a cussed baby-or each. know whether or not your child is confused or cussed:

A confused child mouths across the bottle nipple fortunately, however would not suck. If milk dribbles out of the nipple, it might both pour out the aspect of her mouth or startle and choke her, inflicting her to cry and get upset. The confused child will tolerate mouthing the stunning flavored chew toy for a couple of minutes earlier than fussing to ask you to please get that factor out of her mouth.This child wants consistency, however a leaky bottle may very well be a part of the issue. You’ll suppose that this child simply wants to grasp that there’s milk within the bottle after which she would drink, however truly, this child wants to grasp that she is meant to suck on the bottle.My recommendation for this child:Strive a no-drip bottle that solely releases milk when child correctly sucks. It will forestall her from having milk-choke when she shouldn’t be prepared and can reinforce good conduct by giving her a tasty deal with when she does suck correctly.The Calma Nipple by MedelaThe Naked Bottle by BittylabA cussed child is aware of the right way to suck a nipple. You may have seen her do it. She could even usually suck a pacifier. However, each time the bottle comes at her, she freaks out. If she is put in a scenario the place she may be very hungry and provided a bottle, she could stubbornly drink solely sufficient to take the sting off her starvation (additional proving she will actually drink from a bottle), however then cease and scream with out ending the remainder of it.My recommendation for this child:Consistency, persistence, and experimentation. One thing is bothering her. Is it who’s feeding her? Typically this child will solely settle for a bottle from her mom as a result of she has realized that’s the place meals comes from. Is it from her father or one other non-mother particular person as a result of she has realized that she solely nurses from mother, not takes a bottle? Do it’s a must to supply it when she may be very hungry? Simply beginning to turn out to be hungry? Upon waking from a nap? After simply falling asleep? Whereas strolling in a sling? Within the nursing place? Able utterly reverse from the nursing positing, equivalent to in a bouncy chair or confronted away from you? When the milk is simply the identical temperature as breastfeeding? When the milk is chilly so it’s totally different from breastfeeding?Get my drift? One thing will work. You simply have to determine what it’s. Sadly, your child cannot speak, so you will need to strive a bunch of issues.There are plenty of “tricks” on the market on the Googles as properly to make your child take a bottle. Most of those contain shopping for stuff or tricking your child into pondering mother is there with a smelly shirt or one thing. Do not insult your child’s intelligence, particularly if she is three months or older. I do know I known as the one- to two-month-old a goldfish, however as soon as they hit three months, they’re very deeply linked to their moms. They know her by coronary heart, by scent, and by contact. No smelly shirt goes to trick them into pondering Outdated Spice-smelling daddy man is life-sustaining booby girl.A notice about shopping for nipples: So, some folks have had luck with discovering the one bottle that their child accepts, normally after spending $300 on each kind of bottle. I’ve discovered that oftentimes that is essentially the most incessantly tried trick and the least more likely to work. The instances I’ve seen it work is as a result of the feel of the nipple is totally different, for instance utilizing a latex nipple. There aren’t many left in the marketplace as they’re all silicone now, however I’ve seen a bottle refuser settle for a latex nipple, in all probability due to the colour and the elevated flexibility of the nipple.If in case you have a confused and cussed bottle refuser, could the power be with you. If you actually need your child to just accept a bottle as a result of you’re going again to work, then be constant and chronic. If you do not have a strict deadline, know this:Round six months, your child will begin consuming solids and ingesting water from a sippy cup, albeit poorly. By the point your child is 9 to 12 months, you’ll most definitely have the ability to maintain your child off from breastfeeding for a couple of hours with stable meals. By 12+ months, you possibly can supply full fats dairy meals instead of breastfeeding.So, there may be hope. At 14 months, I did return to work. My mother primarily watched Lucy whereas I used to be gone. She ate meals all night lengthy whereas I labored and will have even drunk some cow’s milk out of a cup (I do not bear in mind). In any other case, it was simply her and me, nursing ‘around the clock. By that point, I used to be a single mother and Joe deeply revered our nursing relationship, so he did not take her from me in a single day or for weekends virtually till she was weaned.Positive, it feels like a loss of life sentence to have a child that by no means takes a bottle, however it’s heartbreakingly short-term to have a child that wants you each few hours as a way to keep alive. Within the blink of a watch, your little child will likely be heading off to full-day kindergarten, spending the evening at a good friend’s home, going to sleep-away camp.So, if you’re like me and you’ve got a strong-willed child who refuses a bottle and simply needs you to remain dwelling and you’ll, know that I look again at the moment of my life with a lot fondness and gratitude. I do not bear in mind all of it, however I do know certainly I used to be there for each feeding. At a time when life was falling aside throughout us, breastfeeding was our fixed. Maybe God knew that we would wish that; what appeared on the time like our biggest problem turned out to be our biggest reward.